Music Remixes from past Art House Tales sessions for your consideration.

ART HOUSE DEAD

Art House, I got my bags checked in.
Convergence, like the the-dah man.
Together, now on Midway time,
Just keep Art House on and on.

Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street.
Avon, Renew, the Burns, and we’re all on the same street.
Your typical indies involved in your typical outreach,
Hydrate up and see what tomorrow brings.

Dallas, Barak’s Texas team.
Houston, the MFA’s the cream.
New York, got the Lincoln scene.
They just won’t let you stream.

Most of the cats that you meet at Zermatt speak of true art,
Most of their joints will rocket you out of your home.
Cinema Arts, hangin with Cinema Detroit,
Tweeting the Lark; and singing the Lyric in tune.

Art House, like the the-dah man.
Once told me: "It’s bout your programming"
Theaters, they just ain't worth a bit,
If you don’t screen great shit.

Thirty five light all shinin' on me,
Other times I can DCP.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a long strange pic it’s been.

What in the world ever became of Sundance?
They lost their theaters, you know it isn’t the same.
Sellin them all to AMC and Carmike.
All a friend can say is: "Ain't it a shame"

North Park, up in Buffalo.
The Little, Rochester’s place to go.
The State too, at home in Ithaca,
And Cinemapolis.

Pickford and Bijou are up in the NorthWest corner.
The Circle and Film Streams roll out on the plains.
I’d like to see the Tropic in the winter.
But if you gonna travel, I guess the Doris Duke wins.

Belcourt, Music City way,
Roxie, Mission District play,
Nighthawk, where Brooklyn hipsters dream.
They just won’t let you stream.

You hang on Coolidge Corner, then you’re out to Amherst
The Brattle, they once screened Celine and Julie for me.
The Gem, The Nick, The Grand, The Indiana
But Hiway, Garden and Ambler - they’re the best.

Thirty five light all shinin' on me,
Other times I can DCP.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a long strange pic it’s been.

Art House, I'm a goin' home.
Doylestown, baby, back where I belong,
Back home, my County Theater home,
And get that art house on and on.

REHAB Remix

They tried to make us go like Regal
We said: “no, no, no”
Yes, we been black
Playin market-driven whack, that was low, low, low
I can’t got the time
And if our booker thinks we’re fine
Just try to make us go like Regal
We won’t go, go, go

I’d rather play our films our way
We ain’t got no wasted days
Cause there’s nothing, there’s nothing you can preach me
That can make us want to play Anne Hathaway
I didn’t get a lot in class
But I wish the majors once would kiss my ass

They tried to make us go like Regal
We said: “no, no, no”
Yes, we been blue
Playin Marigold 2, that was so, so, slow
I can’t got the time
If Helen Mirren keeps us fine
Just try to make us go like Regal
We won’t go, go, go

Our members said: “Why Godard 3 D?”
I said: “I got no idea”
I’m gonna, I’m gonna lose my Sixties
So I always screen some Bergman here
They said: “You’re making us depressed”
This me: “Ingmar baby, and the rest”

They tried to make us go like Regal
We said: “no, no, no”
Yes, we been quenched
Playin every Judi Dench, cause we’re old, old, old

I don’t ever want 35 again
I just, oooh, just need a DCP
I’m not gonna screen no scratches
Have everyone think we’re Tarantino’s bitches
And, it’s not just my pride
I’m just, like, so jekyll and hyde

They tried to make us go like Regal
We said “no, no, no”
Yes, we been quick
Playin swanky posh pix, that’s our show, show, show
I ain’t got the time
And if our friends cough up the dimes
Community, mission-driven
Let it flow, flow, flow



REVOLUTION Remix

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know.
Netflix wants to change our brand
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know.
The future’s streaming on demand
But when you talk art house reductions
Don't you know that you can count me out

Art Houses gonna be - All right
Yes, we’re gonna be - All right.
Art Houses gonna be - All right.

You say you'll change the distribution
Well, you know.
Amazon wants to change your head
You tell me it's their contribution
Well, you know.
It’s very tiny screens instead
But if you go carrying schedules of HBO
You ain’t nothing but watching home video

Art Houses gonna be - all right
Big big screens - all right.
Together in the dark - all right.

We say we got the real solution
Well, you know.
We all love our mission plan
We ask you for a contribution
Well, you know.
If we’re nonprofit then we can
But if you got money for theaters to renovate
All I can tell you is sister don’t hesitate

Art Houses gonna be - all right
Community based - all right.
Mission driven - all right.

The Loft, The Lark
The Little, The Grand
Red River, Gold Town
Living Room, Show Room
Railroad Square, Cable Car
Jane Pickens, Jacob Burns
The Clover, The Palm
Roxie. Moxie.

To name, A few.
Don’t forget, Renew.
All right. All right.
Art Houses are really ALL RIGHT!

These harmless videos are intended for noncommercial purposes and are for your aesthetic amusement, only. They are humbly submitted as "fair use" song parodies. Please don't forward them to your legal department. Thank you.

Design by KC Biedlingmaier and Renew Theaters, Inc.
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